Choose Your Hard – There is No Quick Fix

The thing with much of what I’m teaching now is that it’s not really a quick fix. I’m cool with that. I’m not sure anything that lasts is.

There are definitely things that bring relief- temporary or even slightly longer- but to really get to the good stuff, you have to fossick around a bit and you actually have to commit and work at things.

That’s the reality.

When people ping me their questions via email or messenger, I talk to them about my process and I tell them the thoughts and methodologies behind why I do what I do. And sometimes, people respond, well, that sounds kinda hard.

“Hard” in and of itself is very subjective, but I always think, well, isn’t everything.

You have to pick the right kind of hard for you.

Doing the work to unravel patterns of behavior, change things up or get yourself in a position where you are more responsive and adaptive to what life throws at you does take something.

That might seem hard, but what seems way harder to me is the opposite; getting buffeted around by emotions and patterns that make you feel like you have no control over your experience.

At the end of the day, you have to choose your hard.

Training your horse requires commitment, patience, and even when we love it, can be hard.

Training yourself calls for the same.

And as much as we like to complicate it, what’s required is simple. Learning, applying, observing, noticing, adjusting, repeating. At the base of it, that’s all we are required to do.

So, we have to pick the right kind of hard for us. The one we are in control of. The right kind of hard for you.


❤️ Jane


“I Got Bucked Off- And Now I Have Trouble Riding Alone. Now What?” A Podcast Q&A

A couple of weeks back, I got tagged in a post on Facebook where the person in question had been bucked off and now found herself in the midst of two different riding experiences; when she is in company or with her instructor, she is fine to get on and ride. When she is alone, it’s a completely different story.

Given I had quite a lot to say on this subject (more than I could include in a Facebook comment!) I asked if I could use the question for a podcast episode, and the answer was absolutely yes. Here is an edited version of the original post:

“I bought my first horse last year. I had a few rides on her and everything was great-then one day she bucked me off.  It’s the first time I’ve ever been bucked off and I’m pretty sure I gave her mixed signals and was the cause of it. I sent her to a trainer and she has been going beautifully. I also took some riding lessons with her and it seemed like we were doing ok again- until I get by myself with her.

I can’t seem to make myself step up on her when no one else is around. If someone is with me then I’m fine. She does great when I’m working her from the ground and responds to even just voice commands. But I can feel myself get nervous and tense when it’s time to step up on her. I know she can feel my nervous energy and that makes her nervous and then she won’t stand still and acts scared of me. Any ideas on what I can do to get my confidence back? And get her confidence back in me?”

In this episode, we discuss the difference between these two scenarios- and what’s changing at the level of the nervous system- and I share my thoughts on the approach I would take to move beyond the reflexive responses created in the aftermath of an accident and injury.

You can tune your listening ears in here:

Happy listening!

❤️ Jane