Creating Clarity: I feel, I want, I’m willing

Much of the confusion, overwhelm and disempowerment we feel in the midst of emotional challenge comes not from the emotion itself, but through a lack of skill and understanding as to how to navigate the experience for the constructive benefit of both ourselves and our horses. Take anxiety for example. When we are in the midst of anxious feeling, it’s easy to feel like your options are limited. The tendency is to shrink into the uneasiness, our focus similarly narrowing until we are unable to connect with or decide on the options that are available to us. 

The good news is that it’s not about knowing all of the answers as much as it’s about being able to ask yourself really good questions. I have a series of “compass questions” that I change depending on what’s happening in the moment and who it is that I’m riding, but what I want to share with you now is a formula for creating clarity when you find yourself giving your power away to forces outside of your control and influence.

Before we get into it, let’s take a moment to define exactly what power is. In this instance, I’m working with the understanding of power being your ability to be self-responsible, to operate with integrity and to act in a way that is more likely to initiate or create momentum towards beneficial change. With that in mind, what you need to do is take the experience of the moment and use it within the following statements:

I feel {insert what you are feeling}

I want {insert what you are wanting}

I am willing {insert what you are willing to do to move towards what you want}

We’ve already mentioned anxiety earlier one, so let’s use that as an example to get us started:

I feel anxious about riding my horse at the upcoming competition.

I want to feel focused and responsive to what my horse needs from me when I show up.

I am willing to learn how I can better manage myself under pressure and put the necessary work in to get to where I want to be competitively.

Here’s another one:

I feel misunderstood by the people in my barn currently.

I want to feel respected and like I can do the work I want to do with my horse without opinions or judgement.

I am willing to have the hard conversations needed to let them know how I feel and see if we can create a better at atmosphere for all of us.


I feel afraid to ride my horse today.

I want to feel like it’s enjoyable experience for both of us.

I am willing to take it step by step and ask for help whenever I need it.

The most beautiful thing about this exercise is that it allows you to exercise self-responsibility and decide how it is you would like things to be moving forward; to recognise that we have the capacity to channel and direct what it is we experience, rather than be on the mercy of it.

I feel: Checking in with your current experience.

I want: Exercising your creative power. Deciding how you want things to be moving forward.

I am willing: Identifying what you are willing to do in order to get you there


❤️ Jane