The moment that we connect with anything- horse, human, other-outside-of-ourselves- is brief.
In this way, the experience of connection is not an island that we land on, or a state that we reach where the work of connection is ‘done’, but a place of seeking and curiosity, where we transfer the focus outside of ourselves to better understand the needs, desires, and position of another.
If we understand connection from this place, it becomes an active process that is a much about the constant, tiny flow of disconnects as it is about the moment when the pieces fit together, and we recognize ourselves to be in harmony. When we recognize ourselves to be in flow.
In this way, the experience of connection is an active one, a verb, rather than a noun. As with balance- there is no such thing as balance, only balancing- there is no such thing as connected, only connecting. A series of consistent and persistent adjustments.
The moment you take it for granted it is lost.
If we consider connection in this way, we recognize that connection is as much about the space between parts as it is the parts themselves. That in order to connect, there must be an openness- of mind, of spirit, of body, of psyche- for the part seeking to connect to make their way too.
To be available for connection requires space. Landing pads free for those seeking to find you, open fields without clutter or debris that make it clear to the other that it’s possible to rest here.
When we seek to connect with our horses, we have to ask ourselves, how free are we for connection to find us?
Are we cluttering our mind with endless scrolling, clicking, participating in conversations that neither nourish nor benefit either side?
What allows for space to be created? What consumes it?
Perhaps the connection conversation starts far away from the arena. Perhaps it starts by choosing a book instead of a screen, a pencil and paper instead of a square that fills the spaces between cells leaving no room for anything else to find you.
Not all of the time, but some of the time at least.
If we are to create a start point where we are someone who is possible to connect with.