This morning, on Facebook Live, we had a discussion on anger; on the challenges that are commonly faced; on the shared experience that we all have of anger often living together with shame or guilt; on the common misconception that anger lives together with actions or expressions that are unwanted.
The original video goes for close to 20 minutes, so I picked out the pertinent points and edited them together here for you to watch if the conversation draws you.
What felt especially important to communicate is this:
No emotion exists together with an action.
They *can*- and this is what we are often challenged by; emotions and actions or expressions being coupled together that become reflexive- but there is no behavior, no set of actions intrinsic to any emotional state.
The art of being able to flow with emotional experience involves developing enough capacity to hold big energies + sensation within the edges of your skin combined with unpicking old patterns to position ourselves in the choice zone; where we can experience the emotion and act from that place in a way that maintains the dignity, integrity and compassion of everyone involved.
I’m so happy to chat about this- it’s a big part of what I do- so if you need support, reach out.
And if you are stuck in a cycle of things “just coming out” in ways you don’t want, know that:
1. You are human and it happens to all of us and
2. There are ways to pick it all apart. It’s not instant but it is most definitely figureoutable (I know from my own experience and the experience of those around me).
Love to your gentle selves, I hope this is helpful to someone who needs it 💛
