Yesterday, I got my lovely horse Dee out and the paddock and we played together in the round pen for the first time in quite a while. As I thought about sharing this with you, and the words I might use, it occurred to me that how I would describe it 12 months ago is very different to how I would choose to describe it now.
The 12 months ago version of me would have said to you, ‘we’ve had some bad luck the last few months. Because of this, that and the other, I haven’t been able to ride and so here we are, back in action. Thank goodness for that.’
The current version of me, however, has an entirely different point of view. What I might have seen as bad luck previously, I know just understand as, well, just the way things have been for the last few months. Not good, not bad. It just was what it was.
The old version would have pushed and struggled and resisted. But for some reason, this time around I saw very clearly that most of my suffering was self-created; that all the ill feeling and internal tension was from trying to be and do something different to what my body was able to be and do in that moment.
I’m of the opinion now that being able to meet yourself in the moment, and to find the range of what’s possible in that moment is the best gift you can give to yourself. It’s not easy- but then either is the alternative. Practicing that has let me look back on what might traditionally be described as a rough patch and hold it more lightly.
And for now, I get to walk and play and frolic with this glorious creature again. I’ll take it, and then some.
I think sunshine and horses are my religion.
Onwards.
❤️ Jane
