“You know Jane, it’s always about the letting go. An unwillingness to let go is always going to be the biggest stuck point”.
I’m paraphrasing here but I distinctly remember being told these words during a mentoring and coaching session I was in where I was discussing common stuck points that presented in my work. At the time, I don’t think I fully appreciated the wisdom they offered. I think I get it now.
The thing is, moving on in any way- even if you perceive the path forward to be wholly positive- always involves a letting go. A letting go of ideas, a letting go of stories, and sometimes, a willingness to let the foundation that you’ve based your identity on to crumble and dissolve underneath you.
It’s big work.
The survival patterns we’ve created are laced with our insecurities. They are full of the behaviors we use to manipulate and get our own way. They are loaded with the unhealthy attachments and the gains we yield from what we present as our suffering. They require us looking at the parts of our shadow that work for us, that we’re addicted to in some way, even if we would publicly protest the opposite.
Moving out of stuckness and into responsiveness involves looking all that straight in the eye and being ok with letting it burn.
The de-conditioning and re-wilding process is the great unlearning.