Why you need to start recording your wins (+ train your focus towards the positive!)

We all know the picking out the things that went wrong during training is high on our list of skill sets, which is why I want to encourage you, from this moment forward, to start to record your wins and successes. Not only does it train our focus towards the positive, but it provides us with a “memory refresher” for those days when things aren’t quite going to plan…

So here it is… my most bestest pitch to you as to why you need to start your own success journal!

xx Jane

You might also like:

Why you need to pay attention to what you are focusing on online

Lacking motivation to ride 

In the thick of it: Dealing with criticism 

Fancy working together? Me too! Check out all the ways we can combine forces and make it happen here.

How momentum is affecting your ability to see things through!

You know those times when you are really busting it out and doing your best. You’re being more positive. You’re working really hard to stay focused. You’re trying your hand at something new. And yet things aren’t still coming together?

It can easily feel like things aren’t working out and well, what’s the point?! But I want to tell you a little bit about momentum and lag time… and to encourage you to hang in there that little bit longer!

xx Jane

 

Why you need to pay attention to what you focus on online

Ever found yourself sharing a meme of someone in a less than favourable riding moment?

Caught yourself pouring over a video of someone in a tricky position? I know, it’s everywhere!

In this blog, I chatter about why you need to be selective about what you feast your eyeballs on online!

xx Jane

Keeping yourself safe and happy with your horse

You may have seen my posts about a training clinic that I attended with my lovely horse Dee on Facebook- did I mention how much I love him? Anyway! Ellie O’Brien from Finesse Equestrian Training hosted the clinic, and I sat down with her to have a chat about something we are both passionate about- how to keep yourself safe and happy with your horses.

I hope you enjoy it, we would love to know your thoughts! xx Jane

The links mentioned in the video:

Finesse Equestrian: www.finesse-equestrian.com

JoyRide: www.confidentrider.club

Dealing with “brain freeze” in the ring

Jessie asks:

I’m wondering why I can warm up for Show Jumping with no stress but get me in the ring and jumping a round and everything I know freezes and my brain shuts down! This happens particularly with heights of jumps I’m not yet truly comfortable with. I feel reasonably comfortable now with 1.05m, but
1.10m and above, I doubt my ability to meet the jumps at right stride. It is fine at home but when out competing the pressure comes on. What can I do about this?

Hi Jessie, thanks so much for your question! Interestingly, I was having a conversation around this particular topic tonight, and I was talking about how my approach has changed over the years from trying to apply solutions “in the moment” to looking to work with systems and plans that actually give you mental strength and allow you to deal with any outside pressures and distractions that may come up at any given moment.

There are two parts to it that I want to break up individually. The first and most obvious thing that springs to mind in relation to your question is the shift in focus that you will be experiencing in the warm-up compared to when you are out there in the ring actually competing, and this in turn affects your processes. Let me explain what I mean.

 

When you are warming up, you are primarily engaged in a training situation. Your focus may be on making sure that you are holding form over the jump, or that your striding is correct, that you have your horse in front of your leg; all of the processes and actions that you need to take care of to ensure that you and your horse are jumping to the best of your ability. If you make a mistake, then what most likely happens is you repeat the exercise and you look to correct it. In other words, everything that you focusing on is very much action based and within the realm of what you can control and what you can influence. You are dealing with what is directly in front of you and you aren’t getting too far ahead of yourself.

What commonly happens when you enter the ring, however, is your focus shifts; it moves from how do “I take this jump this in this particular moment” to “I want to get a clear round” or “I am looking to create “x” result”; obviously we may not be thinking precisely those words but in essence, our focus shifts from a very practical, process based platform, to a results and outcome based one. In doing so, we are directing our focus towards that which is outside of our control; obtaining a specific result or even getting a clear round is not something we can necessary control. Feeling the burn, our brain responds to the pressure in an unfavorable manner for the task at hand; on a physiological level, our body becomes adrenalized and consequently the part of our mind responsible for measured and rational thought is ignored in favor of the very primal parts that are revving up to get us out of the situation as quickly as possible. The need to have a good handle on your arousal state- your body and breath control- becomes really important at this point so you can maintain your heart and respiratory rate to a range that allows you to think clearly and easily.

On the flipside, what we CAN control are the specific actions or things that we need to pay attention to in order to maximize our chances of producing the result that we want- just as we were in the warm-up ring.

Secondly, you have highlighted that these feelings are particularly strong when it comes to dealing with heights that you aren’t totally comfortable with, which makes perfect sense. This is where we need to strategy, on the one hand to get you to a level where you feel confident jumping the heights you are referring to (so dealing directly with competency, skill level and time in the saddle at those heights) and then managing your emotional framework so that your self-talk, your focus and the way you are holding and using your body supports a confident mindset. The first is time dependent, but the second is able to be cultivated instantaneously provided you have the tools and are able to make an ongoing decision to constantly redirect your focus to the most empowering context.

I referred to the need to also create mental strength; to me this is the only way to deal with the ongoing pressure of competition, especially as you begin to move up the grades. Practices like focusing on what it is that you want as opposed to what it is that you are trying to avoid, ensuring your self-talk is positive and supportive, and reading or watching books or videos that motivate and inspire you on a daily basis all allow us to update our mental software and fortify us against outside pressures and distractions.

Thanks again for your question, I hope that helps!

xx Jane

Making It Count When It Counts

It’s funny how you can really, really love something that makes you feel at the same time like you might actually be sick. I think there are very few things in the world where I could safely pair those two qualities together with confidence. Love and an intense feeling of nausea. But when it came to riding in competition that is most definitely how I used to feel. I loved it, but the enjoyment was always something that came later, once the plaits had been taken out and my horse was peacefully munching his hay by the side of the truck. It was then, when I finally took a breath out, peeled off my jacket and plucked out the two million bobby pins that were required to keep my mountain of hair in some form of control under my helmet that I allowed myself to unravel. This usually happened at the same time as I was eating some sort of toxic looking sausage from the nearest food van, but details details. Enjoyment at competitions for me was like a mist; it was all around me but I couldn’t never quite grab hold of it.

It’s not that I didn’t experience success, or that I felt like I didn’t have what it took to make it happen. I did. I really did. I believed in my horse, I worked hard, put in the training, got the lessons. There was really no viable reason for me to feel so nervous- but that didn’t stop the fact that I did.

As I competed from an early age, I had a lot of time to think about this. And to notice the effect, not only on my enjoyment, but also on my ability to ride the way that I knew I was capable of. How could it be, I asked myself, that I could ride a test in the morning and a similar test on the same horse in the afternoon and experience a completely different result? What had changed (aside from the fact that I have possibly eaten another sausage) between those two periods? It most certainly wasn’t my skill level. And it wasn’t the ability of my horse. It finally dawned on me that the only thing that had changed from the test that I rode at 9.30 am and the test that I rode at 3 pm was my mindset.

Do a little experiment with yourself now. Think back to a time in your riding or in your competitive life where you were really on the money; a time when you were out there, wishing it was the Olympic qualifier you are so dang hot right now. Got that? Awesome.

Ok, now sorry to do this to you, but I want you to have a quick think about a time when things were perhaps not so hot. Perhaps you were feeling like nothing was going to plan, like your left leg may actually be detached from the central functioning unit of your brain because it was basically doing its own thing and as you rode down the centre line, or jumped the jump or rode the pattern, it was like you were doing so blindfolded, with something in your ear. I might have got a bit enthusiastic there but you get the picture.

These experiences can happen days or even hours apart, within spaces of time where the difference in the result that you are able to produce has nothing to do with your level of competency or your skill set as a rider and has everything to do with the mental and emotional framework that you are operating from. Your skill level hasn’t changed, it’s just that the outcome of that particular ride is compromised because your reactions will be dictated in the wrong emotional language for what is required; things will act and behave differently coming out of you and as a result, everything changes. You are not in a state where you were able to access the answers and produce the results that are required for the environment you were riding in.

Once I understood this- like really understood this- it was like hitting the jackpot. I knew that as long as I continued to put the hard yards in physically, if I continued to ignore the fact that my mental fitness was in fact the biggest impediment to my success, I was never going to get very far. In fact, I was going to be going round in circles.

The fact is if you are experiencing results that don’t reflect what you know yourself to be capable of- and it might even be that they are really good results but you know you can do better- then what needs to change is your mind. You need to take your mental training as seriously as you do your physical training.

Building the muscles of your mind works in precisely the same way you build the muscles of your body; with use and with practice. You wouldn’t rock up to compete at a 10km running race having only ever gone for a quick jog the night before. Or if you did, you would know your chances of producing a stellar result would be compromised. Yet this is the exact thing many of us do time and time again at competition. We know we feel a certain way competing. We experience it time and time again, and yet we continue to just hope things will magically get better. It’s bonkers.

In order to create a change in your experience, the first thing that has to change is you. Investing in your mental strength and developing focus, fortitude and mental power will infinitely accelerate your progress and ensure that you can consistently produce the results you are capable of. You will be in control of your state, and as a result, you can ask the right questions of yourself under pressure to produce the answers that you want on the day.

The beauty is the confidence, optimism, focus, fortitude- these are all skills, skills that can be easily learned with a little bit of dedication and practice. And the learning always starts with the decision to no longer tolerate the challenges that you are experiencing that you know are holding you back. In their place, we are then free to embrace new behaviors and rituals that will allow us to continually manage our mental and emotional framework and as a consequence showcase the skills of both our horses and ourselves when it matters to us most.

xx Jane

The Magic of Focus

Your focus determines your reality.

It might sound simplistic, but it’s true. The basis of it is this: whatever you choose to focus on you give meaning too, and as soon as you assign meaning you assign power. Experience only becomes positive or negative once you assign meaning, and the meaning that you assign is a direct result of your focus.  Meaning either lifts you up and drives you forward, or brings you down.

The real skill then, lies in your ability to continually control and direct your focus and to put every situation and event into an empowering context. 

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. If you are choosing on a regular basis to focus on what isn’t working in your riding or your life, then more of what isn’t working is going to appear. Why? One of the universal habits that we have as human beings is that we are creatures of deletion. Our unconscious mind is capable of processing so much information from our environment (it’s something crazy like 3 million pieces of information per second), that it would quite simple send us loopy if it all filtered through to our conscious awareness (which conversely can only manage 6 or 7).

As a consequence, we pick out only a handful of things to bring to the forefront of our minds, and what we pick out is based on two primary components; our focus and our underlying belief systems about who we are and what we are capable of. If we choose to direct our focus on all the areas of our riding where we feel lack, displeasure or discomfort, then all of the existing forces that would ordinarily naturally oppose this- ie the areas where things ARE working- seem to magically disappear. That don’t support the framework that we are choosing to operate under and as a result we delete them from our conscious awareness altogether.

That’s the power of focus.

Let’s talk about some ways that you can apply the Super Power that is Focus to your benefit and not to your demise!

1.     Focus on what it is that you want

Most riders that I work with are exceptionally gifted at articulating what it is that they don’t want and not so good at clarifying what it actually is that they do want. As a rule of thumb, think of constantly directing yourself towards that which you are looking to create or manifest, rather than moving away from something that you are wanting to avoid.

For example, if I was to ask you what it is that you are wanting from your horse at the upcoming competition, and your answer was that you didn’t want him to be tense or anxious, you have already formed a negative focus. What you are actually wanting is for him to be calm and relaxed. How you choose to phrase what you desire will determine your focus as well as the associated images that play over in your mind when you think about the event.

Move towards something rather than away. Focus on what it is you want.

2.     Focus on what’s happening right now

If you want to harness a super power, harness the power of being in the moment. If you focus is too much in the past, or projecting into the future, you can’t be offering forward the best version of yourself in the current moment.

Set your goals and work towards them with determination and dedication, but as soon as your bum hits the saddle, deal with what’s in front of you. Be the rider that your horse requires you to be from moment to moment, and focus on responding to their needs with leadership and compassion.

You can’t be two places at once. You can’t be here and there at the same time.

Always focus on the next right move for you and your horse.

3.     Train yourself to focus on the positive

This doesn’t mean becoming Mary Poppins (although, frankly, she had a lot of good things to say!). Positivity is not a fixed state, but rather continuous positive action. It’s the ability to draw on the resourcefulness that you have inside of you and the means to continually ask yourself empowering questions.

What do I need to do in this moment to move forward in the best manner possible?

How do I need to behave in this situation?

What resources can I draw on that will help me progress from where I am now to where I want to be?

Positivity. Self-belief married with consistent positive action.

Rider Q&A: Dealing with nerves in the warm up ring

QUESTION: Hi Jane, I find warming up in a busy area (particularly showjumping) quite off putting! Any ideas on how to calm nerves as obviously it’s a situation that I cannot avoid or change!

The beauty of competition and the situation that you are describing is that you know that it is coming, and as a result, you can plan for it in advance. There are two strands that I would pay attention to in this instance; the first is how to create a mental fitness plan that will fortify you against the pressures and distractions created by the competition environment. The second is developing awareness and understanding of the breath so you can consciously work with it to effectively manage nerves and anxiety.

Managing the warm up ring is obviously not something that is within our control; the only thing thatis within our control is what is going on inside our heads. When we immerse ourselves in a competitive environment, the emotions, pressures and distractions of everything around us becomes interspersed with what is going on inside our minds. When these two forces combine, any number of potential scenarios can result. Depending on our mental skills base, what manifests on the outside would be anxiety, fear, or loss of focus- or it could be confidence and clarity. It all comes down to the ability to consistently direct your focus in a way that empowers you and have the mental strength and skills that will enable you to harness the energy and use it to your advantage.

In order to do this, we need to develop a mental training plan that builds the muscles of our mind in the same way that we pay attention to our physical preparation. Just as you would visit the gym, or hire a personal trainer to create optimal physical fitness, creating the type of mental strength we need to deal effectively with competition requires some pre-training and pre-planning. You get out what you put in. Expecting to ride and perform at your optimum without training your mental muscles means that you are launching off an unstable foundation; sometimes it will work and sometimes it won’t.

Secondly, working with and consciously controlling your breath will yield instantaneous results if you are dealing with an acute bout of nerves! Whenever we are experiencing a stress response, we are in what is known as sympathetic dominance- our nervous system flicks into fight or flight mode and we experienced an array of physical and mental symptoms as a result (a nervous tummy, dry mouth, sweaty palms to name a few!). The inhalation portion of the breath is linked to our sympathetic nervous system, whilst the exhalation is linked to the parasympathetic nervous system. Consequently, we want to work with a breath that allows us to move into parasympathetic arousal- meaning we need to focus primarily on the exhalation.

The 1:2 breath ratio is one of my favourite techniques that I share with riders. In practical terms this means that if you have an inhalation of 4 counts, you want your exhalation to be 8 counts. If you have an inhalation of 6 counts, your exhalation will be 12 counts. You are doubling the length of your inhalation comparative to your exhalation. You can use this breath technique as part of a pre-warm up ritual, or as a means to redirect your focus and calm your nerves in the warm up ring.

Good luck!

xx Jane

How to change your thinking so you come out winning!

A curly question that I get asked a lot is what do successful riders have that others don’t? What is it about them that allows them to change their thinking on a less than average day and come out on top?

First up, we need to get our head around what the notion of success actually is. Success itself is a very subjective term and can only be defined on an individual basis; as a consequence, lets move forward on the understanding that success is the ability to move towards or create a desired result, regardless of what that result may actually be.

To me, successful riders are not those who have a special gift, or a secret skill that separates them from others. Instead, they have mastered a very specific but most excellent skill to have and that is the ability to control their emotional state.

State is a combination of your psychological and physiological condition and something that we manifest as an outward representation of our internal world. For example, if you are currently feeling nervous, then you are in a nervous state. The same can be said for confidence; when you are feeling supremely confident, you are in a confident state.

How we respond or behave at any moment in time in based on the state of our mind and body. So with this knowledge, how do we then go about managing our state so that we can consistently move towards our desired outcome? It boils down to two things; the ability to consciously direct our focus, and to use our body in such a way that supports a positive psychology.

Focus is the pivot point on which you formulate your idea of the world and of events that are happening to you. It is your focus that determines your outcomes, and as a result your ability to direct your focus consistently towards positive and empowering meanings means that it is the ultimate determinant of your success and happiness.

Essentially whatever you choose to focus on you give meaning too, and as soon as you assign meaning you assign power. Experience only becomes positive or negative once you assign meaning, and the meaning that you assign is a direct result of your focus. Meaning either lifts you up and drives you forward, or brings you down. The real skill then lies in your ability to continually control and direct your focus and to put every situation and event into an empowering context.

The more that you can direct your focus in a way that continually concentrates on the solution as opposed to the problem, the more that you continue to search for empowering meanings, the more successful you will be. The reality is, what you focus on becomes what you feel, whether it’s true or not.

The second sphere of influence is your body. Every emotional state that you move through is mirrored in your body, most obviously in your posture and your breath. Whilst your state of mind has a direct impact on your body, you can also use your body to influence your state of mind; it’s a two way street! Altering the way that you move, hold yourself and breathe automatically affects your mood and your biochemistry.

Every emotion has a physiology attached. If I ask you to adopt the posture of confidence, you would most likely stand tall, shoulders back and head held high. How do I know this? Because this stance is recognized as the physiology of that particular emotion.

In the moment where things are going pear shaped, these are the two main areas to pay attention to. Where is my focus? Am I directing my focus in a direction that is allowing me to remain resourceful? Am I asking myself the kinds of questions that direct me to seek out the answers that I need?

Then check in with your body. What do I need to adjust? How is my posture? How is the quality of my breath?

Paying attention to these two key areas will allow you to automatically shift direction towards the outcomes you desire.

xx Jane

How NOT to let your mind run away with you!

One of the most common conversations I have with riders involves breaking patterns; intercepting modes of behavior or ingrained responses that are preventing them from doing the things that they want to do, or getting in the way of them being able to produce a certain result.

Firstly, realising that we are in control of responses- at all times- is crucial. If you think that your mood or reactions are due to people or circumstances outside of yourself, then you immediately give away your personal power to that which you have no control over. Terrible idea. Don’t do that.

What I want to talk about now, however, is consciously designing a “thought interceptor” (sounds like something off the matrix I know!) that use can utilise to redirect your focus when the superhighway of your brain space is travelling in the wrong direction.

But first, a back story.

There’s an economy to the thinking process that is designed to save us time which essentially takes several chunks of different information or activities and groups it together into one bulk item. For example rising to the trot; after a while that becomes an unconscious activity that you don’t have to think too much about, even though there are several different elements that contribute to making that possible.

Driving your car is another example of this; after a while you don’t have to think about the separate elements that form together to allow you to drive your car as unique activities. They become one item which is involved to “driving your car”.

Once your brain realizes that there is certain pattern of behavior that you are repeating again and again they become conditioned responses in the nervous system; the sole reason behind this is to ensure that we are operating efficiently. It’s there to save us time so every time were are presented with stimulus A, we know that reaction B needs to come from that; creating a neurological shortcut between those two points allows us to operate in the most efficient manner possible.

I’m going to continue on with the driving analogy because it’s a really good way of illustrating the point of using a thought interceptor in your everyday life and certainly for your riding.

Let’s say for instance you’re driving to work and you drive the same route every day; after a while, the driving experience of getting from A to B becomes essentially an unconscious activity. Of course there are elements of conscious behavior; you know you stop here, you know you go there, but certainly along the way our minds can deviate from the task at hand and we can be thinking about how our last training session went or what we watched on TV the night before. All manner of things comes up in our conscious mind while our unconscious mind is busy showing us the way.

So what happens if one day you are driving to work and all of a sudden there is a tree that’s fallen down, completely blocking your route? That is a pattern interrupt. What happens at that point is the unconscious mind gives over its power to the conscious mind, which is essentially the decision-maker. The decision-making power always lies with the conscious mind, so whenever something happens which deviates from the norm it pulls you out of this unconscious patterning of behavior and asks for a new decision to be made.

In order to force the unconscious or subconscious mind into a new decision-making mode you have to throw a spanner in the works. Why? When we have been practicing a certain outcome for a period of time, it becomes a conditioned response and our nervous system is habituated to behave in a certain way. In order for the outcome to be different, or for the pattern of behavior to change, we need to intersect the path with something, and that’s where a pattern interrupt becomes so useful and so handy.

One of my big catch phrases I use myself is “choose a better thought“; what is the best thought that I can choose in this situation?  Despite what you may be feeling, you are always free to choose a better thought than the one you’re currently thinking. For instance, if I am wanting to introduce a very simple pattern interrupts to a negative thinking process, if I manage to catch myself at that point that point where the negative thoughts starts to permeate my conscious mind, I will take my hair band which often lives on my wrist for obvious reasons and give it a snap.

That semi-uncomfortable feeling of the snapping hairband is a pattern interrupt; it’s something that my mind is not expecting me to do along the way of continuing or perpetuating a negative thought pattern. Do whatever you need to to interrupt the negative thought process and then take the opportunity to choose a better thought.  

There is however a ‘modus operandi’ to how the pattern interrupt sequence works, and what you need to do first is to identify a pattern of behavior that you’re looking to change. Once you’ve done so you really want to study the process, so you look to see if there any specific triggers that set it off and then what the chain reaction is from there. It’s the chain reaction from A to B. Then what you’re looking to introduce obviously is a pattern interrupt, something completely unexpected that you wouldn’t normally do in that situation. It could be anything like pulling your earlobe, or clucking like a chicken, snapping your hair band; anything that sends that neurological process into a tailspin so you can then replace it with a better thought or a better action, a better process that takes you closer towards where you want to go and further away from where it is that you don’t want to be.

Have fun and good luck developing your new pattern interrupts!

xx Jane

How to protect your positive mindset!

I was talking to a friend the other day who was feeling a bit blah about life, and we got to talking about positivity. She felt as though she was really trying hard to remain positive in her riding and her life, but as soon as she was met with any resistance (a conversation with her partner which didn’t quite go to plan for instance), she felt her mojo leave the building.

I know there have been times in my life where I have felt that living in a cave could be a really attractive option (a cave with stables and an indoor arena attached mind… perhaps some really nice trails you could ride out on. I have standards!), but as we all know, the art of being a real life superhero comes not with banishing yourself to the hills (or your imaginary indoor arena), but with getting out there and doing your thing even in the face of opposition.

We’ve all been there at some point or another, and it can be frustrating and annoying when you are making a conscious effort to make things happen, but you feel as though you are fighting against the tide. Sooo, I decided to put together a video for you to give you some tips as to how you can protect your positive mindset… let’s get into it!

xx Jane

The Value of Reflection

We have all had rides that have left us feeling well below average on the Rider Hotness Scale, and whilst on many occasions its good practice to shift your focus to the future and keep on going, there are times when looking back and focusing on what went wrong can be the best thing you can do to get you moving forward.

So what do you do when your training session or competition experience has not resulted in you on the top podium belting out the national anthem at the top of your lungs to an appreciative and adoring crowd (ok, so this may have featured in my horsey day dreams at one time or another)? You grab hold of that session and you filter out the little nuggets of gold dust that it has left you in its wake.

Let’s have a look at the process.

1. Recover

I didn’t want to get all PollyAnna on your from get go, so I am allowing for a certain recovery period, also known as a temporary pity party, wallow, or a few minutes when you drop to your knees and swear that if God could just make all your rides in the future really great, you will never do anything bad ever again.

Letting yourself feel bad for a confined period of time can be a necessary part of the process, and brings closure to whatever specific event or training that you are endeavoring to recover from. Put a cap on it though. Your visit to Camp Crappy should be limited to a maximum of 24 hours. After this, it’s time to up sticks and move on.

2. Review

Now we are getting to the good stuff! Your task here is to sit down and look unemotionally at your ride in all its glory- the good and the bad. Your role is not to be critical, judgmental or negative. It’s simply to identify the parts of your ride that are of interest.

If you find it hard to emotionally distance yourself, in your mind’s eye, pretend you are at the cinema, watching the ride unfold on the screen in front of you. Get comfy. Make a note of everything that comes up. Celebrate the wins and jot down the challenges.

As you move through the process, ask yourself, what did I do well? Where did I come up short? What were some of the processes that led to me making an error or facing a particular challenge?

Get it all down on paper.

3. Reflect

Once you have your list of awesome-ness collated, sit down and rationally review its contents. Again, your task is not to be critical or judgmental, it’s simply to learn.

Ask yourself, what could I do in the future to prevent this situation happening again? What worked for me and my horse? What decisions yielded good results?

If I was to repeat the training session or competition knowing what I know now, how could I do things differently?

Think of this as an exercise in creating successful tomorrows as a result of learning from your yesterdays!

4. Reboot

It’s time to reboot and get back to it. Engaging in a process of reflection can be an invigorating and exciting process- if you allow it to be. It’s a primary opportunity for you to embrace new learning, identify areas that need improvement and create plans for the future. Allow the reflective thinking process to keep you humble while you continue to progress towards magnificence!

Engaging in an ongoing process of reflection, learning, planning and activation will leave not only ensure that improve and grow progressively but will allow you to view each ride as a valuable experience that will help to shape your training and competition future in wholly positive ways.

xx Jane

Let’s talk jealousy…

Let’s talk Jealousy…

Oh, the old green eyed monster! Unless you are some sort of highly ascended being who has never been caught in the wrath of a jealous moment (and in which case I want to meet you and give you a high five in person), most of us have experienced a jealous moment or two over the course of our lives. For the most part, jealousy is seen as something that needs to be trampled on and never mentioned again, and that may be so if the only course of action you plan to take is to let your jealousy fester and become a much larger force de vivre, such as bitterness, bad sportsmanship, or chronic grumpiness. Delightful right?

Like any emotion that we embody, jealousy is just another messenger that is vying for your attention in order to tell you something, and predominantly the message is that you have seen something that you want for yourself.

Someone has won an event that you would love to win

Someone is riding a horse that you would like to ride

Someone is making progress in training and you feel stuck in one spot

Someone has overcome their nerves and anxiety and you still feel unconfident and afraid.

It’s not about the other person. It’s about you. It’s about you wanting something for yourself that you perceive to be out of your reach or capacity to achieve in the present moment, and as a result you feel, well…. jealous. It’s horrible, frankly, and we have all been there, but the truth of the matter is, that staying there and marinating in your little pool of jealousy is not going to do anything to help you except make you feel worse. Nasty!

That being said, let’s have a look at some of the positive messages of jealousy and how you can use them to take the next best step forward.

1. Jealousy indicates you are ready for the next level, that you are open to some kind of transformation

If you see someone doing or having something that incites jealousy within you, reflect on your emotional reaction and ask yourself why you are feeling this way. What is it that you actually want? If it’s to win a certain award, feel or ride a certain way, or to achieve a certain level in training, don’t wallow, get busy. Or better still, get inspired!

That point that you are aspiring too marks your aspiration point. Fabulous! You have something concrete that you want to work towards. Now to work your way backwards! If this is where you are now, and that is where you want to be, what steps do you need to take in the meantime to bridge the gap between the two. And then decide on one step that you can take within the next 24 hours to set you on course toward your target.

2. The only behavior you can control is your own

The reality is, at the end of the day, the most likely person to be affected by your jealousy is you. There’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous for a moment (News Flash: You’re human!), but don’t let it define your future. Recognise it, evaluate it, thank it (it’s provided you with some good insights as to what you want), and then get on with DOING something to get towards where you want to be.

Envy and jealousy is boring really. Who wants to hang out with someone who blows smoke over the success of others but doesn’t do anything to change their own reality? Not me, that’s for sure. Yawn…

3. Learn to Celebrate other people’s successes

Here’s the thing: other people doing well doesn’t mean that you are failing. You are unique, your horse is unique, and frankly, the journey that you are on is yours and yours alone.

Celebrating other people’s success is an important emotional reminder that you not only think they THEY are worthy of the success, but you are also. After all, if you can’t see good in other people’s awesome moments, who’s to say that you will see good in your own?

See the achievements of others as an indication of what’s possible. There’s plenty of room at the top after all!

xx Jane

Survival Tips For Putting Yourself Out There

Survival Tips to Transcend the Moments When You are Going to Put Yourself out there and feel a little …. Stupid.

It’s a sad state of affairs when we limit ourselves and our capacity based on what other people are thinking. If you are hung up on the thoughts and opinions of others, or don’t put yourself out there at the risk of looking stupid, here are three of my top survival tips for setting that baggage aside and strutting your stuff like the equestrian version of Charlie’s Angels. Let’s hit it.

1. Remember your outcome

When we start feeling stupid and worrying about what everyone around us is doing, we forget why we are doing it in the first place. It distracts us from Mission: Awesome and instead turns it into Mission: Hot Mess. Know what you are doing there, why you are doing what you are doing and how it fits into your overall plan and future goals.

Anyone who achieved great things spent some time feeling like they didn’t know everything, like they couldn’t yet do what they wanted to do in the way that they wanted to do it, and yes, feeling a bit stupid. When you start to stretch the bubble of your comfort zone you are quite literally expanding your comfort zone. And when you start to expand your comfort zone, guess what? You feel uncomfortable! If you don’t feel uncomfortable, well… you are still inside your comfort zone.

Uncomfortable is ok. Your comfort zone will expand to meet you in time. But if you don’t move the perimeter posts, it’s never going to happen.

2. Remember, it’s temporary.

We need to reframe this for a second. You are far from stupid right now. What you actually are is a Neural Highway Ninja. Basically, all those neural networks in your body are connecting up new pathways, joining the dots together and building both your mental and physical muscles in ways that will allow you to get out there and repeat the same task much more ease-fully in the future. You getting out there and actually doing it- not thinking about it, talking about it, or drinking coffee about it- is the only way that you are going to make this happen. The only way.

Forget stupid. Your totally bad ass. B.A.D. A.S.S.

You heard me!

3. Work out your Inner Circle of Awesome.

In all likelihood, most people aren’t as obsessed with us as we are. Strange I know. If, however, you just can’t get past wondering what other people are thinking, then you need to get selective. Narrow it down.

In the Academy, I talk about the Inner Circle of Awesome. Your Inner Circle of Awesome is your crew, your posse, the group of people that know you, know your horse and know where it is that you are both heading. These are people who have your best interests at heart and whose opinion you can listen to. From their constructive feedback, you can pick out the jewels that will help you further your training and continue on.

Everyone not in your circle of awesome you can absolutely listen to, but they are essentially surplus to requirements. Appraise any feedback on its value mechanism. Can I use this information to improve the performance of me or my horse?

If yes, fabulous. Thank you and move on.

If not, fabulous. Thank you and move on.

Be clear on what you want, and take immediate steps towards actualizing it. If you are going to shine like a crazy diamond, you can’t hide under all the rocks in the pond. Get out there and do it! I’ve got your back.

xx Jane