It’s interesting, because a few years ago if someone had asked you to describe the word “anticipation”, it’s like that you would have paired it with anxiety. But now when you think of the anticipation, you understand it as something so much bigger than that.
In fact, when the word lands in your body, it creates a feeling of expansion. You think of anticipation with a sense of possibility, an arms flung open feeling, eyes above the horizon sensation, sung to the melody of “come at me, I’m ready for you”.
This change in you was not a passive one. It has been hard-earned and we still consider it to be a work in progress. Let’s call it “the great decoupling”; the decoupling of activation from concern, of energy from worry, of vitality from a feeling of not being safe.
Your capacity has increased to the point where you are able to hold the energy of what’s to come in all its possibility, without it throwing you off centre in the “right now”.
You no longer need to escape from anticipation as a feeling. Instead, you see it as a necessary state of being for your body to rise to the occasion. As preparation to do some unfamiliar or uncomfortable. As a reminder to self that you can do hard things.
Your lens has widened to anticipate joy in the same way it used to be only available for concern. And for that, we are grateful.